Food and Society

I wanted to tell you about my relationship with food, why i am not vegan and how horrible our society is. Basically, it is more about self love and eating disorders, people develop.

Since 2012 I've had tough relations with eating. I wanted to lose weight, like all the girls, who are not skinny naturally. I tried to, but did it the wrong way, which is cutting out food groups, eating less and trying to over exercise.I've been passionate about veganism. Now, when eating is no more such a torture and losing weight is no longer an aim I'm still thinking about becoming peschetarian/vegetarian/vegan. I see a lot of people following a vegan diet. They stop restricting and eat everything, but only if it's vegan/ raw vegan. They may be healthy physically, but if you heard about minnie maud  protocol, you will understand, that their relationship with food is still restrictive, because they have to omit particular food groups, which is not mentally healthy. Of course you can follow any particular restrictive diet(not only vegan) when you are fully recovered and/or mentally and physically healthy, but there is no such thing as "full recovery" some people say, and I do believe in it, because bad thoughts always creep in. And any restriction may take you away from remission back into relapse. And I know this. Anyway my family won't let me become a veggie, because they are against it. And sometimes I'm just so much inspired' by some people, my parents, friends, they make me feel like "you only live once" and live your life to the fullest. I want to enjoy every moment, I don't want to miss out on Starbucks and its cheesecakes. It is supposed that anyone with restrictive ed(eating disorder)tendencies should never restrict themselves. 

As it was said "We are all anorexia wanna-bes". People will judge me for eating meet and letting myself go to Starbucks, but I do not care. I am myself and want to stay that way. I decide what is healthy and what is not for myself. Vegan is not healthy for me. It is not healthy for my body, but first of all it is not healthy for my mentality. So I have made some decisions concerning this.

1. I still live with my parents, so I am not able to cook veggie meals for myself, because I am short on time and we have a small kitchen. (Of course I could cook everything on Sunday, but that is not an option. Anyway they won't let me become a veggie.) Right now I am supposed not to think about food. Just eat what is on the table (that is my family's logic)
2. When I live separately, I will eat mostly hclf (high carb, low fat) vegan, because i can not imagine my life without fruit! I used to love pasta, but it has become a guilty pleasure because I am trying to eat low carb and i want to eat it again. Eating dairy/fish at times and eating anything, that seems tasty and what I like when going out and travelling.

These are my small plans for the future. I thought about following a meal plan, which I'd have created, but I find it restricting. I love being spontaneous. If I want to eat one dish three days in a row, or want to go out not on a cheat day, I'd do that. Meal plan is a routine. Enjoy your life and live to the fullest! Won't you like to come to a cafe and find out they serve your favorite dessert? Treat yourself once in a while and eat that dessert? Why should it be your cheat day if you know won't come back here soon? Don't you all like pleasant surprises? Especially when they taste so good? I know you do. If you think you don't, just don't fool yourself, you do. We all know that best ice cream is the unexpected one. Following a "healthy" lifestyle has become so popular and fashionable, that society has become obsessed with it. Veganism is so wide-spread, because it is considered healthy. Of course there are ethical vegans, who follow a vegan lifestyle and I do understand them. But are all vegans avoid wearing silk and wool? No, because for most people it is only a diet. Maybe it is not true, but I see only this. The truth is that many people with eating disorders become vegans. It is "the safest" way of recovery, because it does not affect their mental health very much. In fact they may become weight restored on a vegan diet, but their life will be incomplete. They still restrict themselves in particular food groups (dairy, meat). Maybe I want to become a veggie, because it is fashionable. We are trapped in the fashion/beauty/health/fitness industry. We buy "raw vegan refined sugar and gluten free protein low fat energy bars" because we think it is healthy. We are so obsessed with following our diets, eating super foods, counting calories and macros, that we miss out on pleasure and small social joys. We can not enjoy "cheat" food if it is not a "cheating day". We can not spend time with family at the dinner table without counting a calorie. We can not celebrate a holiday without feeling guilty. When did punishing yourself for enjoyment become "healthy"? When did eating dairy and meat become "healthy"? Will you be happy avoiding all these products? Of course, I don't mean that refined sugar and high cholesterol levels are good for you, but you should never make yourself unhappy. The thing is we forget to enjoy food. We forget that we live only once and just think that you will never try the most delicious pizza when you are in Italy. That is what happened to me. I thought I would become a fat pig after eating a whole pizza. Do I feel myself happy now? No, because I may never have an opportunity to try it again. What if it is true? Are you sure you want your life to be wasted like this? Think for yourself, do you really love your best friend/parent/partner, because he/she looks fit, thin or is just beautiful. No. From the inside they are beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of a spectator. I would say that, the appearance (face, body etc) can be described as pretty, thin, skinny, fit, but not "beautiful". Your soul, your thoughts, ideas are beautiful. You are beautiful, because you are unique. Those are the imperfections, that make us special. You are beautiful, because you are yourself, and no one else. Don't try to become someone else, to get a body of someone else. In that way you will lose your beauty. You won't be special anymore.

Here are some quotes:

• "Perfect is boring"

• "Perfect is ordinary"

• "So perfect was Naoko's physical beauty now that it aroused nothing sexual in me." -Haruki Murakami "Norwegian Wood"

• "Have no fear of perfection, You'll never reach it" -Salvador Dali

• "A flower does not think of competing with the flower next to it. It just blossoms."

• "Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself." -Coco Chanel

I thought about posting what I eat regularly, but it does not really matter now. All you have to learn is to love yourself. Nourish your bodies and minds. Let your soul shine.